Plastic Ipsum

How many paragraphs?

The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me. So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us. I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch. Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present. Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense. Yeah, he's almost too gay to function. Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic. It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X. Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? You're a regulation hottie. Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass! Whatever. Those rules aren't even real. It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain. We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history. Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets? "Too gay to function"!? And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that. There's a 30% chance that it's already raining! And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today. Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. Who cares? Six of those girls are right! Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life! You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge! My nana takes her wig off when she is drunk. Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.

Welcome! I can't go out tonight. *cough cough* I'm sick. I'm new. I just moved here from Africa. Why don't I know you? Come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is! Whatever. Those rules aren't even real. So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins... That knew girl moved here from Africa. So you agree? You think you're really pretty? That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen. If you're from Africa, why are you white? I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending. Oh. My carpal tunnel came back. But you do have to watch out for "frenemies." Is butter a carb? You're a regulation hottie. God. My hips are huge! Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? Your mom's chest hair! I know, right? You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide! Say crack again. That's only okay when I say it! And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. Hey, Africa.

On Wednesdays we wear pink! Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them "frenemies". Can you believe my f-ing mom is here? That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch. Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed. And even in fancy countries like the United States and England, seven out of ten girls have a negative body image. That's only okay when I say it! I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending. The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me. She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel. Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work! God. My hips are huge! Your parents have been eaten by cannibals! Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute. That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year. I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased with this. Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks. Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. It's Halloween. That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets. Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. Yeah, but he's my first cousin.